i wanna be startin’ something

Sometimes it’s a struggle trying to figure out what to do next. I’m at a crossroads with my career – the industry I work in is dying (“this thing of ours,” I told my boss in my best Godfather voice while discussing the news of our biggest and most fiscally-sound client leaving the industry in September, “is ending.”), and my particular area of expertise is soon to be outmoded. I’ve always been the person with the big ideas, but right now I’m at a loss as to how to proceed.

That’s the problem with ruts – they make it difficult to see what’s truly out there. I’m so used to picking myself up by the bootstraps and moving forward in the same direction it’s hard to figure out if moving sideways or even backward might be a better move. I am AWESOME at catastrophe, disaster, and huge life change. I just don’t know how to handle regular, everyday living. If there’s no crisis,  I’m at a loss.

I’ve always said I embrace change, indeed, I relish it. I love a clean slate. But maybe that’s because I am a lot more familiar with starting over, with perfecting the first act, than I am with the middle. I always jump ship when I get to the middle. I HATE the middle. It’s long, boring, and there’s no endorphins. The beginning is always the best part.

So yeah, I’ve got a challenge, I’ve got to figure some things out. I don’t know where I’m going next, or how I’m going to get there. I HATE not having a plan. My life has been made up of many, many first acts, but now I have to figure out how to lumber through a second act for perhaps the first time ever. It’s daunting. I know I’ll figure it out, I just wish I had a better idea of how.


7 thoughts on “i wanna be startin’ something

  1. I agree. I love change, and once things get stagnant I get antsy. I’m hitting a wall right now cuz I’m hitting my “three-year mark.” I’ve never held the same job longer than 3 years. But I can’t think of anything better right now…

    • I’m also coming up on the three year mark, which will be the longest I’ve been in one place, too. Part of the problem is there really isn’t much better out there.

  2. You are missing the point, there is no middle. Only a beginning and the end. Plan everyday as new, keep it fresh and exciting.

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