with apologies to polly holliday

This week has been strange. It started off on a sour note – I gave my dad the good ol’ what-for on Sunday and it, along with his response, left a fairly negative stain on the next few days.  I have found as I grow older it is easier for me to bounce back emotionally. Between my dad and my brother I feel such a sense of betrayal and abandonment. Five years ago this would have kept me in bed. Now, it’s sort of like having a really bad mosquito bite.

Tuesday was a hub of creativity for me.  I dug into a long term project that I’m not quite ready to talk about yet, and I also submitted a couple of TV pitches for consideration. That felt amazing – they’ve been on the shelf for so long, but I found a new submission route and instead of hemming and hawing, I just went for it.

This week I also started watching Toddlers & Tiaras. Yeah, not sure why, or how that happened, but I’m now at a shameful crossroads. I absolutely hate the parents (and make no mistake, while the stage parents are predominately obese white-trash women, there are definitely some dads who initiate all this pageant bidness), and I can’t really stand the kids, either. They’re spoiled, entitled, and irritating. But there’s something about watching toddlers with hairdos like Flo from Alice that I can’t look away from.


She looks so happy, doesn't she?

She looks so happy, doesn't she?

Kiss her grits!

Kiss her grits! But seriously, whose hair weighs more?

Then I see the parents spending thousands of dollars on dresses, fake hair, spray tanning, fake teeth (um, aren’t seven- year-olds supposed to be missing teeth?) to sexualize their little girls and make them look like dimestore Barbie dolls, and I just get sad. I mean, who dreams of their baby looking like a cheap hooker?

To be fair, I guess this little girl’s mom was aiming more for Vegas showgirl:

Of course she doesn't want lipstick! Can't you tell she's going for the natural look?

Of course she doesn't want lipstick! Can't you tell she's going for the natural look?

One dad was talking about how spending $3500 on a dress for his eight year old was an investment, because hey, a modeling agency might ask to see her portfolio. Yes, because the rage for child models these days is absolutely the Anna Nicole Smith look. Haven’t you seen the new Baby Gap ads? I guess to me an investment might be to take that $3500 and stick it in a nice college fund, or some sort of nest egg for his daughter’s future. I know, I know, I’m nutty. 
MY crowning achievement this week (HA! Get it? A CROWN is a TIARA) has been exceeding my 5k training goals, or at least it will be once I finish today’s workout. So as of this writing I’ve met my 5k training goals, and as of 4:00 p.m. today I will have exceeded them.  And that’s pretty much the first time in my entire life I’ve met and/or exceeded any physical fitness goals, except the time in fourth grade when I won the sit-up contest.  I guess you could say this week’s been a long time coming.

6 thoughts on “with apologies to polly holliday

  1. Hey girl,

    I am loving this blog. I get it through my RSS, so I rarely comment, but I wanted you to know how much I love reading you each day. Keep it up.

    I am sorry about your family. I totally understand what you mean about a)how hard it is and b) how it seems to get a little easier as you age. NOT THAT WE ARE AGING.

    And lastly, I am SO excited that you are making TV pitches. That made my day. xoxo, L

    • Thanks, Les. You’re right, we are not aging. Just improving. Damn, I feel like a Maxine cartoon typing that. xo

  2. I have never seen the expression “hemming and hawing” in print. Love it. I would have had to google it to make sure I was spelling it correctly.

    The family thing resonates with me as well. Our extended family is a bunch of trashy loud mouths who go through 3 year cycles of destruction. Every 3 years it gets easier to swallow.

    Somehow I got tricked into watching T & T too. And I can’t stop either. It’s just sheer madness.

    Did you ever watch Ren & Stimpy? This quote comes to mind.

    “They all think I’m crazy, but I know better. It is not I who are crazy. It is I who am *mad*! Can’t you hear them? Didn’t you see the crowd?”

    TV pitch? Oh la la! Fabulous!

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