I have found people usually give you what you expect of them. If you consistently raise the bar and ask for the best, then that’s what you’ll get. If you indulge tardiness, or rude behavior, or any habit or trait that could easily be corrected, people will take your slack and run with it.
Some might say there’s a chicken and egg quandary here – do we lower our expectations because we consistently get the worst from certain people and it’s just easier to let them slide? This frustrates me to no end – I am held accountable, and I think others should be, too. Especially when you’re in the same cohort. If there’s nothing keeping another person from reaching the bar aside from a lack of respect for other people and their time and needs – well, I think the behavior is abhorrent. And when that behavior is not only excused, but coddled and almost encouraged? I lose my shit.
How do you cope with a person (or people) who are expected, allowed, and set up to underperform in life and have no intention of trying any harder than necessary to get by? This is especially difficult when the bar is set so high for others around them. I wish I were more comfortable calling people out on their hypocrisy and hurtful behavior. I wonder how much of my life I’ve lost because I thought I was being polite or minding my own business or whatever. How much inexcusable behavior I’ve just dealt with, then stressed over/complained about later.
There are people with real, serious problems in this world. They live through poverty and illness and destruction we cannot fathom. Why would anyone want to use a hardship (that by real world standards is nothing) as an excuse to stop living life as an accountable adult? And if people really love that person, would they let it happen or just let it slide?