First off, I hate the stigma of being laid off. People look at you with a sad face, all concerned. Let me just make this clear: I HATE MY JOB. I am not unhappy about losing it. It only takes one hand to count the people at my present workplace whom I will miss. Also, I am not destitute. Sure, I’m a crappy saver and not the best with money, but I do have a nest egg. And unemployment. There’s also a COBRA supplement which will make my health insurance only slightly more expensive than what I pay now. So while the situation isn’t the greatest, it’s also not the worst. As of Friday morning I am liberated from a corporate cage and be free…at least until my next job starts.
So that’s the second thing. I’m one of two finalists for a new position. The only job I’ve applied for since learning I was losing my current gig. I have mixed feelings about this opportunity. It offers great pay and benefits, security and stability, and I think the work would be challenging and engaging. BUT! It’s another corporate job. I’d be moving from a green apple to a red apple. And I have reservations about symbolic apples now.
Moving to another position right away means I can’t succumb to my inherent lazy nature. I want to take some time and clean out my closet (something that can only be done on weekdays that aren’t vacation days or holidays, fyi), see a few movies, lounge around in my pjs, maybe not shower for a day or two. I want to eat ice cream for lunch and watch bad TV while Jason is at work. After a week or two of indulgence, I want to give my ideas wings, develop endeavors with my partner, and see what blooms.
I know the right thing to do. It’s to snag a good, solid job as quickly as possible AND build up a new endeavor AND clean out my closet on a Saturday. And that’s probably what I will do. But I won’t stop daydreaming about early retirement or Golden Girls marathons. So I’m resigned to accept whatever happens and go with the flow. I can’t wait to make a new plan, set a new schedule, and work out some lengthy new lists. Job or no job, I know I will be great in 2010.