i want my mtv.

Back in the time of Friday Night Videos and loooonging for MTV, these commercials were the stuff dreams were made of. They still get me a little excited and definitely nostalgic.

And how awesome is it to see Hall & Oates quarrel?

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crush story.

I’m not feeling too hot today so I’ll be brief. I have a tendency to be attracted to, shall we say, non-traditional men, particularly when they are celebrities.  And while Nick Offerman does not have a large nose nor any cooking skills I’m aware of, his character on Parks and Recreation is misanthropic, hilarious and unbelievably surly. Totally my kind of man.

Yes, I'd like some angry cuddle time with you, Ron Swanson.

Also, Parks and Recreation is really funny this season. It was a dud last year, but whatever they put in the Kool-Aid is working and the show is completely redeemed. So watch it.

Sidebar: I am so bummed Russell didn’t win Survivor, but man, did he tank when it came to talking to the jury. Dude can plot and scheme like no one’s business, but he had no eloquence or pizzazz when it came down to the end.

I will say that anyone who feels a reality-tv game show is a platform to talk about honor, integrity or any brand of self-righteous anything is just asking for a giant karma slap. For the last time, America – GOD DOES NOT WATCH TV! I appreciated Russell’s game play because he owned it, didn’t try to twist it into anything outside of the game and did not project any sort of personal identification into his performance on Survivor.

Bitter, bitter Survivor jury members, take note that Russell won fan favorite two seasons in a row. You may think you’ve got integrity, but while Russell is tricking you into losing he’s completely transparent the entire time. He doesn’t apologize, back peddle or kiss ass. And it was apparent that because none of you had the guts to play that way, you couldn’t stand it.

tv land.

It’s been a busy, interesting week. I’ve been writing a lot for profit so I don’t really feel like writing for free during my downtime. I am, however, watching some television.

Tuesday’s episode of Lost has my mind spinning – I really, really want to know the name of The Man in Black. Not sure why that’s so important right now, but for some reason it’s driving me crazy. Also, I found the episode to truly be a can of worms. Like Allison Janney’s character said to the twins’ mom, the answers are only leading to new questions. And now there’s only three hours left and I don’t think I’m going to get the information I want.

The skanky, filthy NJ housewives provide Schadenfreude at its finest. Seriously, I have never felt so upstanding and decent as I feel when I watch those women…breathe. Nasty doesn’t begin to cover it.

Also, am I the only person who was sad when the cowboys didn’t win the Amazing Race? And who hopes Russell wins Survivor?

TV's nastiest little imp.

chuckle.

This may be the funniest skit of all time. It makes me laugh out loud every time I see it.

Also, Jason sent me the following news item this morning: 

FOND DU LAC, Wis. —
Police responding to a complaint of loud noise have cited a Fond du Lac man for “rocking out” to the music of John Denver.
A police officer who responded to the man’s apartment last week could hear Denver’s music through the door. The officer pounded on the door but the man didn’t answer. Finally, the officer found out the man’s name from a neighbor and called to him, bringing the man to the door.
When asked why he had the music so loud, the man said he was “rocking out.”
The Reporter newspaper in Fond du Lac reports that the 42-year-old was cited for unnecessary loud noise. The ticket could result in a fine of about $210. 

thwarted.

Last night we watched Alec Baldwin’s tour de force SNL skit Schweddy Balls. I wanted to post the video on my blog, but I can’t get Hulu and WordPress to make nice, so it’s just not happening. The skit first ran in December 1998 and honestly it’s just as hilarious today. Because really, what’s funnier than talking about balls?

Here’s your daily dose of nasty Santa:

Is there a better embodiment of the spirit of Christmas?

misplaced, perhaps.

I’m an incredibly loyal friend and family member. It takes A LOT to get me to quit on you. I’m also loyal to brands, news stations, sports teams, food products, and celebrities; it will take mountains to move my loyalty. Colgate Total toothpaste (not gel)? I’m yours for life. Same goes for you, Degree deodorant, 3M blue kitchen sponges, and Cottonelle bath tissue. I WILL NEVER ABANDON YOU, DEAR CONSUMER PRODUCT FRIENDS.

So yeah, celebrities. Once I get my hooks into one, I’m a fan for life. That’s why I’m the only living member of the Genie Francis fan club (Laura from General Hospital. And no, I’m not actually in her fan club, but you get the idea) because I loved loved loved General Hospital when I was six years old. That’s why, despite all the recent Tina Fey backlash, I love her as much as I did the first time she quipped behind the desk on SNL. I was with her through her bad hair cuts and her first days with Jimmy Fallon. Her triumph with Amy Poehler. Her bumpy start at 30 Rock. Her reign as Palin. And still, now, I want to grow up to be Tina Fey.

What's with the menacing hand on the door?

What's with the menacing hand on the door?

30 Rock returns for its fourth season this Thursday (NBC 8:30 p.m. CST) . I cannot wait.
In the immortal words of Tracy Morgan, I love 30 Rock so much I'm going to take it behind the building and get it pregnant.

In the immortal words of Mr. Tracy Morgan, I love 30 Rock so much I'm going to take it behind the building and get it pregnant.